Parenting Tip of the Week: The Do's & Dont's of Discipline...

At The Connection Church we're talking about raising indesctructible kids this month in our series Kidstruction. This Sunday, our lead pastor, Cole Phillips, talked about Making Kids Mind Without Losing Yours. You can check out the sermon here.

With that in mind, this week's parenting tip is all about discipline. Here are 5 Do's & Don't of Discipline for kids of any age:

The Do's
  1. DO Be consistent. Consistency is the key to discipline. If your kid isn't getting a consistent message , they're clueless about how to behave, and may be feeling confused, insecure, and perhaps unloved.
  2. DO Clearly Communicate Expectations. As a parent, we must overly communicate our expectations for our kids. Children can't follow rules or live up to standards that they don't understand or know about.
  3. DO Enforce the rules you set. Don't make a rule that you don't intend to enforce. It only creates mixed messages for your kids and creates confusion within your family.
  4. DO Present a united front. As parents, if you undermine your partner (or another consistent authority figure) you are not making your kids love you more (Admit it; that's why we do it!). You are actually confusing them and undermining their respect for both of you. If you present a united front, you create an atmosphere where your children feel secure and respect authority.

The Don'ts

  1. DON'T bribe. While rewarding your child for good behavior is a great discipline tool, bribing kids to avoid bad behavior only reinforces that negative behavior.
  2. DON'T get personal. When you tell your child that they are naughty, rude, lazy, etc, you are labeling them. Instead, try to condemn the behavior, not the kid. Instead of saying, "You're so rude! Why can't you share?" try saying something like, "That was a selfish thing to do. It's very rude to take Joe's toy from him."
  3. DON'T go overboard with punishment. Punishment is just one aspect of biblical discipline, so don't go overboard on that alone. Make sure you're following the old saying of "making the punishment fit the crime."
  4. DON'T expect children to behave like adults. Newsflash: Your kids are not adults. That means that sometimes they'll do foolish or irresponsible things because...well, they're kids! Our children don't have the wisdom that we do from the life-experience we've gained so we need to remember that as we set proper rules and expectations.

Check back here on Thursday for the Parenting Resource of The Week!


debra said...

Hi Nic:

The only Kidstruction series I missed was the Sunday that you taught. Three different people, including a man at my work, came up to me saying it was a wonderful message. I haven't seen it on line yet and was wondering when it might be posted. I'd really like to see it. Can you respond with the exact link.

Thank you,
Debra Dominguez / pinkconnection69@yahoo.com

stress management said...

I think this is one of the parenting tips I ever read on this blog. Now I know what to do and not to do. Thank you for sharing this.